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Weblog oder so von Christian Kohl. Teil der Website christiankohl.net.

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+ 0 - 0 | § Science and Religion

Today I'll try to ignore all "da ruckus" (Wu-Tang Clan 1993) concerning caricatures of Mohammed and use absolute scientific truths to show (a) why muslims have banned pictures of Mohammed and (b) why the reaction that violent.

(a) is actually quite easy to explain if one studies the groundbreaking research of Foucault (1968), Derrida (1968), Lacan (1968), Latour (1968), and Irigaray (1968). As postmodernisttransgendercultural reseach by these authors has shown, it all comes to size. Size Does Matter. It goes like this: Moses was multi-sexual: he screwed animals, men, women, dead or alive, and he was famous for his 50cm dick. Jesus was bisexual: he didn't screw animals, but had lots of fun with his apostels and they enjoyed his 30cm. Mohammed on the other hand was gay and measured only a tiny 8cm (erected). And that's why pictures of him are banned - muslims just feel embarassed. (That's also the reason why there are so many islamist suicide bombers: if you read the koran to often, your penis starts shrinking.)

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+ 0 - 0 | § Suicide's an alternative

Aaargh. Irgendwann rächt sich halt alles. Naldo außer Form, Uwe Moyela gar nicht wirklich vorhanden, zu dünne Personaldecke, Klose vom DFB kaputtgemacht - da kann man schonmal gegen eine Spitzenmannschaft wie Lautern verlieren. Wenn ich das Zweikampfverhalten von Uwe Moyela sehe, sollte man ihn schleunigst zum Basketball schicken. Und Naldo sollte auch mal ein bisschen Testosteron vor dem Spiel gespritzt bekommen. Dazu kommen Nelson "Bigmouth" Valdez, der deutlich nachweist, warum er kein Stammspieler ist und Klasnic, der nachweist, dass er gerne zum HSV gehen darf. Es ist nur der Schwäche der anderen Mannschaften zu verdanken, dass wir in den UEFA-Cup kommen werden - die CL können wir uns abschminken. Nächstes Jahr brauchen wir nicht nur einen linken und einen rechten AV (Fritz, Monsoreau?) sowie einen IV (Mertesacker?), sondern auch einen Stürmer.

+ 0 - 0 | § Dear religious idiots,

usually I don't give shit whether someone is Muslim or Christian or whatever. But, dear Muslims, you're nuts. You're completely nuts. The Middle Age is over, whether you like it or not and you suck major arse.